Friday, May 15, 2015

Bad decisions...

A guy who always make bad decision

Well today we gonna talk about a guy who, you know, hard to make a really good decision. Life making decision is not like making decision in playing video games. In video games, if you screw up, you get chance to restart the whole thing, make it right and the way you want it to be. In real life though, if you screw up, even a little bit, thats it. You have to live the rest of your life with it. Moving on was hard for me. Really, its too hard. Relationship for example. 

Relationship-wise, I screwed up. Big time.  For awhile I thought I have found someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Although we were miles apart (long distance relationship) I never ever, for once, thinking about leaving her. Never. I love her more than I love myself. Never for a moment that I never think about her. She was all over my mind. Yes we argue a lot. I know I'm not the best or the perfect boyfriend but trust me, I put so much effort in making this relationship works. I wasn't saying that you never put effort but stop saying I never appreciate you. I am. I love you. I love you so much. I would do anything for you. In fact, I was here in this very college just to be close with you. But I guess Allah had other plan and yet we still far away. That doesn't matter. I know I can't be with you 24/7. I'll have to attend my class, finishing my diploma. You know why Im so desperate to finish my diploma. So that I could start find more money and then marry you. Isn't that what both of us want. Getting married and start our new journey together? 

What this have to do with making bad decision? Well umm, Im not saying that be in relationship with you was a bad decision. You're like the greatest thing that ever happen to me. Even right now. But watching you crying and suffering all the time makes me feel bad about myself. We shared a lot together. A lot. And thats why I never move on. Never. So I chose to let you go. Bad decision for me but I think is for the best. 

I love you AY. I love you so much. 

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